Celebrity worship and pop-culture emulation are nothing new, and are probably as old as Hollywood itself. It seems as though the moment someone or something becomes popular or famous, all the freaks, weirdos and wannabes come out of the woodwork looking for a way to set themselves apart as a true fan. Sometimes, these people can take it so far that it baffles the rest of the human race (the portion with common sense). These are the 15 most bizarre tributes to fame; please don’t be one of these people.
The Bald Britney Tattoo
We can understand the occasional Marilyn Monroe or Frank Sinatra tattoo piece — that’s expected. What we can’t understand is why anyone would want the face of Britney Spears permanently drawn on any part of their body. To make things even more bizarre, this person chose the mental breakdown period of Britney as the muse for this piece. How on earth is this person going to explain this thing to their grandchildren? If they covered this one up with a picture of a jar of mayonnaise, it’d be an improvement.
The Shrines of Aspen
For the last 20 years or so, people have been ducking into the Aspen wilderness just beyond well-traveled ski-slopes, where they put up shrines to beloved celebrities. Most of the time, the heroes are deceased, and some aren’t even the Hollywood type at all; they could be a favorite teacher or a local who was just a really good guy. The more well-known shrines belong to Elvis and Marilyn,
Pamela Anderson Obsession
Dimwitted TV-wannabe Sha Ross went all-out in an attempt to gain fame via MTV when she dumped $10,000 on a set of D-cups, lip-implants and a chin lipo — all to look more like Pam Anderson. Apparently, the girl didn’t realize that she looks nothing like Pam Anderson, and that it would take a whole lot more than ten grand to get there. When Pam was asked about it later, she said that the attempt in and of itself was just plain creepy.
Suri Cruise’s First Poop
Sculptor and outright weirdo Daniel Edwards claimed to have obtained Suri Cruise’s first droppings even before the child had been displayed to the public. He dipped the gift in bronze and produced a tiny monument to the absurd. Whether or not the poo was genuine or a complete load of crap, nobody could say, though plenty asked. The piece was auctioned off on Ebay for $10,000 — proceeds went to charity.
The Michael Jackson Impersonator
Impersonators are a dime a dozen when it comes to certain celebs — folks like Michael Jackson and James Brown being prime targets for their signature dance moves and zany outfits. Rarely is there an impersonator who goes to such great lengths as Navi has in his quest to be more like Mike. This guy has gone as far as having fairly extensive plastic surgery, but while MJ was alive he actually served as his chief decoy at major public events. It’s an odd case that there is an upside to being a nut.
Tony Danza Tattoo
Who’s the boss? Tony Danza’s the boss, and don’t you forget it. In case you might forget it, you could always have his face permanently stamped into your skin like the poor sap in the picture above did; that way you’ll always have him with you in your daily affairs. You can even feel classier when wearing shorts and a tank top, since Tony is wearing a tux.
Britney Spears “Birthing” Statue
This hideous monstrosity is almost to ridiculous to comprehend, but it happened, and it truly does exist. The same guy who bronzed Suri’s poop felt the need to create a life-size statue of Britney Spears, giving birth, doggy style, on a bearskin rug. Forgiving the fact that the stone woman’s face looks much more like Ashley Judd than Britney Spears, it’s highly unlikely that Spears gave birth atop a bearskin rug in such a provocative pose. This thing hurts to look at.
Shrine to Johnny Depp
Take a good, long look at this picture. The girl is insane. We get it, you’re hopelessly and creepily in love with Johnny Depp. You don’t have to add a massive portrait of him to your arm when every square foot of wall space in your room is already covered in it. We understand obsession — we understand it all too well — but this girl is beyond help at this point. Hope she doesn’t plan on marrying anybody aside from Depp himself.
The Robert Pattinson “Manllow”
When this thing surfaced on Etsy a couple of weeks ago, it was simply too much to bear. It took us a solid three days to stop laughing, and now it’s impossible to look at the picture of this sappy girl cuddling her manllow without bursting into uproarious laughter all over again. We’re no strangers to cuddling a pillow at night, and it’s not at all strange for people to do it
and pretend that the pillow is somebody else. This hideous, creepy thing is just plain wrong — on every level. It’s sold out at the moment, but if you want to cause your roommate to murder you, here’s the link to Etsy.
Amy Winehouse Tattoo
While we’d rally at the opportunity to make fun of some poor schmuck who thinks Amy Winehouse is beautiful enough to have her tattoo’d on his body, this is just creepy. Whoever got this tattoo obviously didn’t think that Winehouse was pretty, but instead seems to think of her as a trollish drunkard with dated hair and a surprisingly nice rack. If this is what you think of a person, why on earth would you ever get it tattoo’d on you?
Joan Rivers Impersonator
It’s difficult to name somebody more annoying than Joan Rivers. Honestly, the woman is a cockroach; so when we found this guy we just couldn’t resist adding him to the list. Frank Marino is a drag artist, meaning he’s a professional drag queen, and he’s been in the business for 25 solid, tucked years. The guy’s signature performance is his Joan Rivers impression, which is apparently so good that it got him sued by the woman in 1986 because he was copying her stand-up act too well. To each his own, but… Joan Rivers?
Creepy Simpsons Tributes
We love The Simpsons as much as the next red-blooded Americans, but it’s more of an in memorial sort of fashion since the show stopped being terribly interesting after about its 20th season. Somehow, it still manages to whip people into a frenzy, and every year there are more tributes, more tattoos, more lookalike contests and more strange fan-made videos surfacing online. We keep telling ourselves that it will stop someday, but at this rate we’re starting to lose our confidence.
Mike Tyson Tattoo
What could be worse than a Mike Tyson tattoo? A Mike Tyson tattoo that’s recent-looking, complete with creepy eyes, bad teeth and the scary-looking tribal tragedy of a tat on his face. This one also raises an interesting dilemma; if a tattoo is a portrait of a person wearing a tattoo, then is said tattoo recursive in nature? Talk amongst yourselves.
Queen Nefertiti
Nileen Namita is not only completely obsessed with the ancient Queen Nefertiti of Egypt, but she’s so batshit insane that she truly believes she is the reincarnation of said Queen. She’s spent the last 20 years dumping over $300,000 into 51 plastic surgery procedures in an unending attempt to look like Nefertiti. Sorry Nileen, but you’re really failing at this whole endeavor. You don’t look like Nefertiti, and you’re damned odd.
A Golden Statue of Kate Moss
Kate Moss is perhaps more famous now for being slightly unfamous, and largely made fun-of in pop culture for being skinny enough to fit through cracks in the floorboards. The guy who went to all the trouble (and considerable expense) of making this monstrosity claims that it’s the largest golden statue of its kind since the days of Ancient Egypt. We think it’s the largest waste of time and money in the history of man kind. The truly sad part is that this thing is actually being housed in a museum. The world as we know it very well may be ending.
