We may get a kick out of watching them as they get pummeled by tabloids and trash-media, but the fact of the matter is that most celebrities — and the scandals they become embroiled in — aren’t worth a fraction of the publicity they get. Some famous names that we like get hounded by the media over the most mundane of private matters, while other people who shouldn’t even be famous in the first place continue to eat up airtime just for existing. In either case, these are the 15 celebrities and celebrity scandals that got way more publicity than they deserved.
Tiger Woods and His Women
Tiger’s been through a lot over the last month and a half, with now nearly ten different women alleged to be his former mistresses and a wife that may or may not have chased him with a golf club when she found out. Tiger’s a veritable golf star, and as with all big-name athletes, mistresses aren’t a big surprise. The amount of publicity that his affairs have received over the last few weeks is nothing short of ridiculous, unless it’s talking about how none of the women he supposedly had on the side were as hot as his Swedish model soon to be ex-wife.
“Speidi”
It would be difficult to name an entity in this world that is more despicable, morally bankrupt, socially inept and just plain evil than the duo that has come to be named Speidi. Spencer Pratt and his plastic-skinned wife, Heidi Montag-Pratt, will do anything in their power to get more fame. The sad thing is that most networks on TV willingly give it to them — except for E! Entertainment that is. Of all networks, E! had the sense to ban the couple or any mention of them, unless they got pregnant or are seriously injured.
The Brad Pitt Love Triangle
Most men have more than a modicum of respect for Brad Pitt — he’s an alright guy and a great actor — and you won’t find too many men who would speak much ill of his wife, Angelina, either. What does need to stop is the incessant coverage of their love-life, lack of a love-life, coverage of their family, every flirtatious look they give other famous actors, and Cliff Notes of every fight they have allegedly had. You’d think the world would be tired of it all by now, but the stories never cease, and the number of people who are dragged into the mud with them seems to grow by the month. We call it a love triangle for tradition’s sake, but it’s beginning to look more like a love dodecahedron as time, and the tabloids, wear on.
“Octomom”
Nadya Sulemon, more commonly known by her ridiculous media-name Octomom, is probably the foulest creature to have ever birthed children. Unfortunately, she’s birthed many children, and did it by means of science — much to the dismay of the greater medical community and humanity as a whole. Even more disturbing is that Vivid offered her a huge sum of money to star in porn, but fortunately for us she turned down that offer. Seeing those stretch marks in HD is not something anyone should have to live with.
Jon and Kate Gosselin
Gaining fame quickly along the same lines as Octomom Jon and Kate Gosselin are best known for their painfully bad reality show revolving around their lives as they raise eight children. It didn’t take long for audiences to see that they were really just two massively ego-maniacal simpletons who turned on each other at the first sight of profit. Somehow the effeminate Jon has become some sort of playboy while Kate is trying to keep their reality show running — minus one husband. People still watch this stuff.
Anna Nicole Smith
While it’s not generally polite to speak ill of the deceased, Anna Nicole Smith was a scourge. Even today, she manages to stay in the headlines because of scandals that haven’t yet been resolved, and people are still treating her death like it was Princess Diana all over again. The woman had the intelligence of a jar of mayonnaise, and made a living off waiting for an old man to die; why was she so famous? Why is she still talked about today? Even in her prime, she wasn’t great to look at, and that was a long time ago.
Britney Spears
Sure, she was great on the eyes when she was younger, and before everyone knew exactly how bad her non-synthesized voice really is, she was even decent on the ears. That didn’t last long, and Britney became a sensation just for being, well, Britney. When she lost her mind and fell from grace, it was a bit entertaining. When the media set up permanent 24-hour camps outside her home, however, it got ridiculous. It got past the point where a rational person would stop and say “enough” and never stopped. Enough is enough.
The Palin Family Ties
Sarah Palin, whether loved or hated, isn’t interesting enough to spend more than a week in the mainstream media now that she’s not running for the Vice Presidency anymore. While she was in the middle of an election campaign, her family became a major point of interest to the trash media and tabloid kingdoms — her underage pregnant daughter and the of-age future father in particular. The two were a bit of news considering Palin’s conservative stance, but now her daughter’s ex boyfriend Levi is actually famous. He’s famous for knocking up a former Governor’s underage daughter, ditching her, and now posing in Playgirl magazine — pictures that are so disturbing we won’t even link to them.
Chris Brown and Rihanna
Chris Brown, the talentless boy-man who somehow managed to entrance enough women to get himself extremely famous in a remarkably short amount of time, got an unforgettable social black eye when he gave his girlfriend a real one. The marginally attractive, nasally voiced Rihanna then made sure that she milked the incident for as much publicity as she could muster, and now a week doesn’t pass that the both of them aren’t mentioned as though we cared. Unfortunately, massive numbers of trash-media consumers do care, and the story drags on to this day.
The Kardashian Family
Kim Kardashian is ridiculously, painfully hot. We accept that, and it’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t matter that she’s gruelingly stupid, or that she has the talent of a mop. She’s not so much the issue as her family, which doesn’t share in her good luck when it comes to the looks department. They are, however, equally talentless, and all of them share in the fame they gain with every airing of their half-ass reality show, or when her trollish younger sibling gets arrested for partying too hard. There’s nothing interesting about any one of them, and yet they still manage to stay on television, in magazines, and in the public eye.
Lindsay Lohan, Booze, and Manly Women
Lindsay Lohan, despite all her shortcomings, still holds a special place in the hearts of many men — and rightfully so. What doesn’t make sense is how she is still so famous, after years of absolute failure. Her greatest claims to fame in the past five years have been public bouts of drama, drunken debauchery, and most recently, unexpected lesbianism. If and when Lindsay ever does something worth paying attention to again, we’d be happy to pay her some mind, but until then she should just go away, and stop taking up headline space.
David Letterman and His Women
David Letterman is a man that people always expect to be a stand-up guy. Despite his being known for being such a down to earth, regular Joe, it still somehow became massive world-wide news when it came to light recently that he has had multiple affairs during his ridiculously long tenure as a late-night TV talk show host. He handled the whole thing pretty candidly, but the media wouldn’t let up, and to this day the story hasn’t left the public eye. He’s a rich guy who spent most of his adult life as a famous TV personality — how is it any surprise that he’s had extramarital affairs? How is that newsworthy? How is it anybody’s business?
Tila Tequila
Bobble-headed troll, model, stripper, disease-carrier and attention-seeker extraordinaire Tila Tequila has made quite a name for herself over the past few years now. It should have registered as a problem with she began claiming fame and glory off her accomplishments on MySpace of all places. Things only got worse as her repertoire of television appearances began to be rivaled by her showings in adult magazines and an ever-growing online presence. Now she makes a living off her name alone — which isn’t even a real name to begin with. How she manages to keep an audience or stay famous the way she has baffles most sane individuals.
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
We’re not even going to mention how these two have been instrumental in spreading the curse that is Twilight — that part’s self-explanatory. The problem with these two these days is that they won’t get out of the headlines for their on-again, off-again, secret, non-existent, torrid love affair that every woman seems to know of and care about. The worst part is that the trilogy isn’t near over yet, as they have one more movie to finish and then the year’s worth of publicity as they make the opening tour, which means a whole new round of are they or aren’t they is fully expected.
Miley Cyrus
Forgetting the fact that this skanky teen is the spawn of Billy Ray himself, who apparently put his Achy Breaky Heart back together enough to shape his daughter into a money-maker from an early age, Miley is a plague in her own right. The girl isn’t even old enough to buy a cigarette yet, but she’s already managed to score more sexually-inappropriate scandals than you can shake a stick at. A week doesn’t go by that she isn’t mentioned in the media for some reason or another — usually something along the lines of pole-dancing on stage or dating a 22-year-old underwear model — and her music is so foul that it can cause permanent damage if listened to for longer than thirty seconds. That is, unless you’re a pre-teen girl. The worst part has yet to come with this one — she’s just getting started.
